I offered weekly posts here every Sunday from June 26, 2024 through the end of the year. For someone who has trouble with self-discipline, that was a real feat.

But then, once again, Life’s vote was stronger than that of Willpower.

In the past three weeks I’ve written only one essay because I have been battling pain, physical pain that triggered every dark emotion you can imagine. Vintage grief not fully “processed” (God, that sounds like a meat grinder…) reared its ugly head and charged at me like a Banshee of Despair. The best thing I could do during the past 6+ weeks was Simply Keep Breathing. Breathe through the pain when the meds provided no relief. Breathe through the midnight stabbing pain that woke me and stalked me for the next twenty hours. I let myself be utterly hopeless for days on end.

And then one day, for no reason at all, the pain suddenly went from a constant 7-9 to a simple 1-3. Distrustful of any “now-that-that’s-all-sorted” thoughts, I enjoyed the brief respite and continued with the regimen of self-care via nutrition, rest, ice, elevate, compression, and high-quality movie binge-watching. And did I mention breathing?

The first thing I noticed when I finally was able to walk down my 43 stairs (1/2 a step at a time) to get outside and into a car was that I had lost a lot of leg strength. And respiratory capacity. I became noticeably winded when doing very little at all. During this entire pain-riddled time period I could not take pleasure in reading or writing or watercolor or anything I preach about here. I didn’t have the head space or heart space for it. I tried, and gave up. Repeatedly.

But then…. the pain level dropped. After a few days, I suddenly realized I was back. The real me was back. Still no energy, but the banshee was gone. The angry, terrified child/ girl/ woman had retreated for now, and left me in touch with my Right Mind, my Real Heart, and oh yes, my Sense of Humor. Lordie, I had missed her chuckles.

So I’m back for now. And I have an important message for you.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. IT IS ABOUT THE HUMAN CONDITION. DON’T PRETEND YOU’RE EXEMPT! AND DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR ME. IT WAS JUST MY TURN.

Every single one of us gets a turn in the barrel, has our heart ripped out by death or illness or loss or betrayal, and I am convinced that WE KEEP IT TO OURSELVES AT OUR OWN PERIL.

I’m not brave to go through what I’ve been through. After all, I sure didn’t choose it. If anything, I’m brave to be honest and open about it, because I believe it just might help you the next time you really want to scream, “OUCH” but are afraid to because complaining is naughty. Nonsense.

Complain and get it over with. NEVER HOARD PAIN. It is not good for you.

After I got back to pain level 2-3, the universe offered me two books to help me stay clear on what this lesson had been about, so I wouldn’t forget and have to do it all over again, pain and all.

The first book that came to me, originally published way back in 1995, is by Pete Walker, “The Tao of Fully Feeling.”

Here’s a quote from the book description:

“Real self-esteem and real intimacy with others depends on the ability to be lovingly there for oneself and others, whether one’s feeling experience is pleasant or unpleasant. Those who can only be there for themselves or another during the “good” times show no constancy, inspire little trust, and are only fair-weather friends to themselves and others.” (Bold emphases mine,)

And here’s a link to Pete Walker’s website.

If you’re hard on yourself when you’re going through a rough patch, The Tao of Fully Feeling might be the breath of fresh air you need, even if you don’t have a known history of trauma.

And speaking of fresh air, the other book is the 2020 classic by James Nestor called “Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art.”

From pearl divers who easily hold their breath for several minutes, diving to depths well over 100 feet, to yogis who use their breathing skills to melt a circle of snow around them, breathing, and breathwork, may well be the Big Secret right under our noses, literally.

“Modern research is showing us that making even slight adjustments to the way we inhale and exhale can jump-start athletic performance; rejuvenate internal organs; halt snoring, asthma, and autoimmune disease; and even straighten scoliotic spines. None of this should be possible, and yet it is.”

There are people all over the world who, for their entire lives, have known more about optimal breathing than most Westerners do. And many Westerners, including me, have not even had the humility to be curious until they are feeling breathless. It got my attention, I assure you.

And may I add, both beautifully-written books are also well-narrated on Audible.

That’s all for now – it’s so good to be back. And because I can’t have a post with no illustrations, here’s a watercolor exercise from this first week of tolerable pain levels.

It is not plagiarism; it is not forgery; it is a classic art instruction technique called Study The Masters.

Look at their compositions, colors, and brush techniques. Turn your attempt at “copying” into a humble enlightened tribute. In doing so, you will see things you would never have seen had you been merely observing. Don’t just look. Draw. Paint.

The marvelous painting below, by Albert Bierstadt, c. 1862, is called “Moat Mountain, Intervale, New Hampshire.” Currier Museum, Manchester, NH. Oil on paper mounted on canvas, 19 1/8 in. x 26 1/8 in. (49 x 66 cm)

Bobbie Herron emulation in sketchbook on right, using watercolor, 5” x 8”.

So, back to the title of this essay: The Value of Intermittent Persistence. Persistence is never about Perfection, although you might slip into thinking that at times. Instead it’s about having a North Star that is always waiting for you, lovingly and patiently, for when your necessary naptime is over.

Breathe – Feel – Emote – Breathe – Smile – Carry On – and if you’re lucky… paint.

~~~~~

I hope you have enjoyed these essays. Click on the “Word Cloud” at the right if you’d like to read more about a specific topic. Feel free to forward any of them to friends and family members who might enjoy them.

Public comments can be posted below.

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All three of my books are available on Amazon in eBook and paperback formats.

The newest book, Look at That! – Second Edition, is also available as a beautiful hardcover.

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 As always, thanks for spending some time with me “aloft.” Happy sketching!