Forgive me Readers, for I have sinned…

That is, I missed the mark.

It has been sixteen weeks since my last post, and no amount of  penance will make up for that time. And yet, I have very good news, and a bit of bad as well.

The bad: I am losing what is left of my eyesight, faster than any of us expected. Long story, but the point is that on November 20th, two weeks ago, it became very clear that nothing is very clear any more. I have these two passions, writing and watercolor, and suddenly I have the Solomonic task to choose between the two in order to build a body of work during the time that remains. Of course I could waffle back and forth between the two, but moment-to-moment indecision is exhausting and chews up precious time. So I prayed for clarity.

The good: Much to my surprise, the winner is words.  I paint slow, but I write fast. I have a book inside me, but more than that I also have two tote boxes full of reference materials.  Sentimental journals, blasphemous diaries, and vicious hand-drawn cartoons that are priceless, confidential, and in their current unfiltered state are nobody’s business but my own. So I weed, scan, edit, squint, delete, and smile. The winner is…..The Book.

To build this book I am using wonderful software called Scrivener (where have you been my whole life?) and am compiling the book as fast as I can. Initially I thought the blog simply had to go, that juggling ‘write vs paint’ was enough pressure, why add ‘to-book-or-to-blog’ soliloquies to the mix.

But then my dear friend Melissa Wiley (her wonderful blog here ) came to the rescue, assuring me that writing the book at the same time as writing a blog is not doubling your workload because they are two very different activities, with separate expectations. I am not at all convinced I understand the difference, but her reassurance did the trick, so here I am, posting rather than retiring this blog.

Lessons and Themes

A Huffington Post article ( here ) admonishes the blogger to post blogs regularly (yes, yes, I get that now) and to have recognizable Themes and Lessons.  Here’s a stab at it.

Theme:   Everyone has heard of the “If I had a year to live” question, but what about “If I have three months to see, what would I look at?” The three months is arbitrary for me, no one knows just yet, but there is every reason to believe that may be reasonable.

Lesson: “Your focus creates your world.” That has been true for all of us since the day we were born. It is more obvious some days than other days.

The Trick is to Focus Like Crazy While Relaxing Doing It. The Zen koan of the tigers and the strawberry.

Life is a first draft. Stop planning. Just do it. Have fun.

Stonewall Nov 2018 for blog Dec 5 2018

“Scotland Secret Garden” Begun before the most recent vision loss, finished after. Carry on!

 

About Bobbie Herron

I sit here in my loft studio, surrounded by watercolor brushes and paints, fountain pens, sketchbooks, journals- wanting more than anything to write and paint at the same time. I am the fourth generation of journal-keeping women, starting in 1862, and I have read their words and between their lines. This blog was inevitable: thoughts on the unsung glory of women whose lives were recorded and transformed through their writing and art.
This entry was posted in BH Early Life, My Story, Storytelling, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Forgive me Readers, for I have sinned…

  1. Adrienne Franklin says:

    You can also write by dictating to a computer, and therefore write longer, as it seems like it would be a little harder to paint that way. I love your painting, though! You are, and will be, in my thoughts.

    Like

  2. Maggie Butler says:

    Lovely to know you are still creating! We will take any medium!! Wish I had “a little western flower, Before milk-white, now purple with love’s wound” whose drops could bring you bright vision again –to fall in love with the next lovely scene (not creature) that you see!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cate Polacek says:

    You are my constant heroine, Bobbie. You face these challenges with such a good attitude (even if they knock you down at first), and you have the good sense to learn to use them to your advantage. I look forward to hearing more about the book and seeing it develop. Love and hugs to you, lady!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Eric says:

    Your positive attitude is very inspiring. Thanks for sharing a piece of your journey with the world. (But I understand it must be hard to choose between painting and writing.) Blessing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Carol says:

    Sorry to hear of your plight, but I believe that your words will paint pictures that your readers can see. God bless!! 💖

    Like

  6. Linda Mai says:

    We only get one run at life (that we can remember anyway). I love how you fill yours with positive everything! You are my inspiration. Life is precious. Do what you want (within reason) and don’t make excuses or even waste precious time apologizing for what you choose. Love you dearly. No sins here….

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hello Bobbie, by and large I don’t think it really matters what we choose, but life (and our work) will be so much richer and deeper if we do choose something to focus our creative energy on.

    Sending love and raising my cup to your choice.

    Michael x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dear Bobbie, A little tear appeared in my eye but also a good feeling that everything will and can be allright at the end when I hear you and your powerfull attitude and the strength it will bring, now you (forced in a way not totaly voluntarily maybe )choosed to do your writing of what I am sure it bring up all the (non-painted) pictures into our eyes and ears , I am looking forward to go with you on your journey which will be an enrichment in all it meanings , we will be your eyes . Let us progress , together we are strong , much love !!

    Like

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