That is, I missed the mark.
It has been sixteen weeks since my last post, and no amount of penance will make up for that time. And yet, I have very good news, and a bit of bad as well.
The bad: I am losing what is left of my eyesight, faster than any of us expected. Long story, but the point is that on November 20th, two weeks ago, it became very clear that nothing is very clear any more. I have these two passions, writing and watercolor, and suddenly I have the Solomonic task to choose between the two in order to build a body of work during the time that remains. Of course I could waffle back and forth between the two, but moment-to-moment indecision is exhausting and chews up precious time. So I prayed for clarity.
The good: Much to my surprise, the winner is words. I paint slow, but I write fast. I have a book inside me, but more than that I also have two tote boxes full of reference materials. Sentimental journals, blasphemous diaries, and vicious hand-drawn cartoons that are priceless, confidential, and in their current unfiltered state are nobody’s business but my own. So I weed, scan, edit, squint, delete, and smile. The winner is…..The Book.
To build this book I am using wonderful software called Scrivener (where have you been my whole life?) and am compiling the book as fast as I can. Initially I thought the blog simply had to go, that juggling ‘write vs paint’ was enough pressure, why add ‘to-book-or-to-blog’ soliloquies to the mix.
But then my dear friend Melissa Wiley (her wonderful blog here ) came to the rescue, assuring me that writing the book at the same time as writing a blog is not doubling your workload because they are two very different activities, with separate expectations. I am not at all convinced I understand the difference, but her reassurance did the trick, so here I am, posting rather than retiring this blog.
Lessons and Themes
A Huffington Post article ( here ) admonishes the blogger to post blogs regularly (yes, yes, I get that now) and to have recognizable Themes and Lessons. Here’s a stab at it.
Theme: Everyone has heard of the “If I had a year to live” question, but what about “If I have three months to see, what would I look at?” The three months is arbitrary for me, no one knows just yet, but there is every reason to believe that may be reasonable.
Lesson: “Your focus creates your world.” That has been true for all of us since the day we were born. It is more obvious some days than other days.
The Trick is to Focus Like Crazy While Relaxing Doing It. The Zen koan of the tigers and the strawberry.
Life is a first draft. Stop planning. Just do it. Have fun.